With half of the world’s population currently in lockdown or quarantine, there have been plenty of jokes made about both babies and divorce. We all assume that couples in close quarters are more likely to both have sex and fight. The problem is that these assumptions are likely correct.
While a baby boom may not be a bad thing, the potential for fractured relationships certainly is. Most of us have not spent so much time in a small space with our partners with nothing to do. We eventually get on each other’s nerves, especially if there are already problems in the relationship.
On the other hand, if you approach this time with intention, you can avoid devastating conflicts and even find ways to improve your relationship.
Here are some ideas for maintaining your relationship while stuck in close quarters.
Boundaries at home are always a positive thing, even when a relationship is healthy. Many couples feel guilty if they want to spend time away from each other while home, and end up building up some resentment from the sense that they’re holding each other back. Now is the perfect time to implement some boundaries.
Negotiate these boundaries with your partner. Explain that you need some time to do the things that will keep you busy and maintain your sense of purpose. Also, ask for time in which you can introspect alone. We are all dealing with some strong feelings at the moment, and have different ways of managing them.
Be sensitive in how you approach the subject of boundaries. Explain that you are not asking for space because you feel you need to be apart. Rather, you are taking measures to ensure you both feel like you are getting the self-nourishment that you need.
Collaborate on a shared project
Chances are both you and your partner have passion projects you have put off for a while. This is an opportunity to get around to them. While you should take the chance to pursue your own projects, try and find something you can collaborate on together as well.
This may be something as simple as a puzzle or, if you share certain passions and skills, an actual production of a piece of music or art.
Be careful not to take this project too seriously. It is something you are doing to feel closer and to enjoy yourselves. If you begin to feel competitive or a sense of perfectionism, take a step back, notice the urge, and try and let it go.
One of the simplest things you can do as a couple is to dance. Put on some music that you both can enjoy and simply move together. You will get some exercise, release endorphins, and physically enjoy each other’s bodies. You might even realize that this is something you should be doing in general.
If you like very different types of music, have a silent disco. Put on headphones and play different songs. Try to find tracks with a similar tempo, so that it is easy to move together in time.
During this time, it will be key for you to try to enjoy yourself. There is no better way to counter frustration than to release some endorphins and have fun while getting intimate.